Ibiza Girl

I am here in Ibiza getting a tan. This is a major vacation, so I leave you for a week dear friends.

Just a little idea of what I got my self into ( I arrived this morning and still a little bit dizzy from the plane ride. It was super cloudy and air turbulence was forever): Too much men..sooo many ...just so many...demasiadooooooooo!!! Super beautiful people, ladies and gentlemen. Just amazing! And don't get me started with the beach.It's nice but Boracay is still the best.

Anyway, I have to get some rest before going out tonight. So little time, so many men...and I still yet to have shave my legs.

See you in a week!

Love you all,
Jeno

America, meet your match: Victoria Beckham

Ok guys, so after the trouble with my not-so-recreational drug of the century, I decided to treat myself a little bit. Last Saturday, I hit the not-so-very-high-street (maybe the pills still got an effect on em. What's with the dashes?) of Torremolinos and got loca with the sale season. I promised, I was with such adrenalin rush that I didn't need any solid or liquid intake since I got up till about 5 in the afternoon. I was so excited with comprar,comprar,comprar, I was ready to pull hair and kill for the items that someone might just be too fast to snatch from my view. It was a much needed shopping though for my super duper major Ibiza holiday which by the way is this Saturday. Anyway, that's another story altogether.

So I went to Zarah, Lefties, Massimo Dutti and the rest of the Indetex group's shops and just look and pick and then with my meager money, buy. Shopping's always like that isn't it, for us mortals, anyway? 80 percent look, 15 percent touch, 3 percent smell,1.5 percent think and then...0.5 percent buy. For the Hiltons and the Beckhams, though it's 10 percent look,touch, smell and think and 90 percent buy.

Speaking of Becks (let's forget about my shopping madness. Just look at the pretty things I bought, drool over them then move on), I don't know about you guys but here in Europe where the air fresh and you can actually drink water direct from the faucet without boiling it, everyone's getting a fever with anticipation on how the Beckham's will fare with their new life in America. Day after day, there's news on the development of their mudanza and of course, Miss Victoria Beckham has gone one step forward leaving her family behind for a couple of weeks to set up their new home in LA , etc. or I'm sure you already know (or have seen) that she has a new reality show entitled: Victoria Beckham, Coming to America.photo: perezhilton.com
Like influenza or measles, or tuberculosis, I finally succumbed to the hype and the fuzz that surrounds this moving to America thinggie which was suprising because I am not really a posh spice fan. I was Ginger Spice in our group of gay friends in college and I always thought Geri was the fierce one. I wanted desperately to watch it but ho and behold, there's always something that gets in the way when you really want one thing to happen right? I had to change the shoes in ZARA because it was kinda big so I had to go the shop after work then have dinner with a friend in a Chinese restaurant (everything fake comes from China, I even doubt the authenticity of their cuisine these days) in the not-so-high-streets of Torremolinos.

Anyway, when I got home, the show was over. Thank God for the invention of Youtube, I had to chance to see the show though low quality and all but hey, I saw what the fuzz was all about!

And I promise you, Victoria Beckham is my new Ugly Betty! Gosh, I don't know about you guys but I think Miss Beckham should be given a Golden Globe, an Emmy or even an Oscar for best comedic performance. She's just naturally funny! Now I know why David " rocks his world" (as he once said in an interview). She can be totally glamorous, no doubt about that, but also, she is just a brilliant comedian. She's got this innate dry British humor mixed with her catty, bitchy, gay personality. I so, heart Victoria.

In a country where in its airports, one must fill up a form where one of the questions is, "are you a terrorist?" (which basically explains everything about the country really), isn't it quite perversely exciting to see how someone like Victoria with all her hilarity and idiosyncrasies can get her way and make fun of them without being attacked and be cut into pieces? I think it is fabulous how she represents what America is all about except for the fact that is actually British. Has Paris met finally met her match? Has America finally met her match? See for yourself. This is, and to quote her herself, MAJOR.



Here's some of her hilarious lines:
On arrival: "Okay, so I guess they're expecting me Or they thought there's someone else on the plane. Maybe they thought like Madonna is coming into town or something".

On the rental house: " It looks like a giant dusty ice cube".



Assistant: I am ever get to be personally assisting David?
Vicky: No, Why, would you want to?
Assitant: no..but..yeah..but..
Vicky: DO you find him attractive?
Assistant: No, well he's not ugly.
Vicky: (the face)
Assistant: Sorry I'm just really nervous...

Hahahaha. If I were that assistant, I will be damn nervous as well....meeting david of course. hahaha.

On being busted driving: I am so devastated because I was wearing flat shoes.
---I didn't know whether to pose or get arrested.
hahahaha!
On cheating on her driving exam:
Bill: Victoria, I'm watching you
Vicky: I'm watching you too Bill.

And the picture taking. Hilariousssss!!!!

Man, I'm just so tired of typing now. Just watch it here. I told you this is major.

I think it was a good idea for Vicky to move to America from Spain. I mean here, everybody hates her because she doesn't smile and she once said (and this is why the Spanish press hate her, she didn't get much publicity here) Madrid smells of garlic. Hahaha.

Hmmm, I wonder how LA smells.

There's one thing I am sure of though...for me, Ibiza's smell is in the air.

Outta Rehab


I was fucked up by pill. I swear to the two people who fervently read my blog that you should never...ever...not even think about taking those goddamn Zhen de fucking Shou pills. I have been away from blogging for a couple of days to regain my sanity. Everyday, I was shaking literally and I can feel my blood circulating...rushing like some rapids where you can go kayaking. I was feeling so hot inside and I felt my head was being cut into halves.

I stopped taking them last Sunday after 5 impossible days. Withdrawal symptoms were bad and the third day after quitting was the worst. I was in panic and had a hard self-assessment night, with intra-personal communication and all after watching re-run of *My Bestfriend's Wedding* on ITV1. Shit. That how bad it was.


Let me just get this thing straight: I do not intend to destroy the name or reputation (if there is any) of this slimming pill brand. I am simply narrating my experience during the five days that I lived my life with them. For people out there, think twice before taking any slimming pills without prescription or proper medical consultations.

Right now, I am a little bit sober. Thank God.

My officemates (who love recreational drugs) are fighting over the pills. They are salivating to have them. I was thinking, a sexual favor would be fun. But one of them is a woman and the other one (male) rarely takes a bath.

I am selling them for five euros.