Offense is always the best defense.

Steel Butterfly. Icon.Madam Imelda Marcos
I just had a coffee date with an American and I don´t know what happened but in our conversation he had to say the word ¨posh¨ and asked me:


Obviously, the bitch goddess in me went ballistic and gave him a taste of some verbal diarrhea.

¨Honey, I know what posh is. YOU ARE TALKING WITH ONE.¨

The nerve! What did he think of me, stupid? I know a thousand more complex words than POSH, scumbag. In my school days, I had to work it, cheat it, and perform fellatio to win spelling bee contests (working it always works, I tell you) and my vocabulary is half as deep as the Marianas Trench. Entiendes????

If you think just because I am Asian, I don't speak your language...think again. I might just be better than your average whitetrash, baby. Much,much better. And oh, didn´t I tell you I am a writer?

Yes, I might not be rich to live a posh life and the only luxurious things I own at the moment are some Versaces, Bassis and a Chanel press powder (which is fab, I swear) but I don´t eat garbage for breakfast not to know what posh is. For one, I am from the country of IMELDA MARCOS---now how posh-er can you get with that? She was already building a museum of Manolo Blahniks wayyyyy back before even Carrie Bradshaw discovered them. Every Filipino knows what REAL luxury means even if we don´t live it. So puhleeeezzz, don´t talk to me about posh because we learned about that since grade school!
I am hyperventilating.
I need some Prozacs.
This racist thing is real getting into my nerve.

The Real Star of the Bullring

People think that living on the coast is like being on a 24/ vacation. You get the sun, sand, sizzling señores Españoles and of course, the fantastic Spanish food. However, if you are a corporate whore like myself who wakes up at 7:30 every effing day to work, sometimes you need a REAL break from the tourist-infested coast and find refuge in the mountains or somewhere else where you can find momentary solitude and peace. Somewhere where you couldn´t hear any passing cars at night because they still use ponies / burros for transport.

Exhausted from a horrible workweek full of rain, I packed my bag last Sunday and went to Antequera, a town which is about an hour an a half away from Malaga and considered to be one of the oldest of the Andalucian towns.

Going there is like being transported into a different country altogether. The scenery is spectacular! Green mountains, endless fields of olive trees and and dramatic rock formations delight every traveller even the most impatient of all--me.

Entering the town itself is horrendous though. You will be welcomed by the Poligono Industrial (Industrial Estate) most of which are just massive buildings and factories including the biggest MERCADONA Supermarket I´ve ever seen in my entire life (we hinted it could be the distribution dispatch).

Anyway, all was worth it when we finally reached the goal of our journey---the Antequera Bullring and fabulous restaurant inside it! Now, I am not gonna talk about the bullring and bullfighting here. I´ve seen an actual Corrido de Toro (bullfight) in 2005 in Torremolinos and I got so bored after three toro murderings, I decided to walk out but that's a different story altogether that you would read here soon.

Now let´s talk about something which the animal activitists would not be mad about. let´s talk about my orgasmic lunch in the bullring restaurant.

The bullring restaurant is prehistoric. I am not saying that literally but yes, it has been around for the longest time which is good because their menu has been tested by time and proved to be a winner not only to the opulent Españoles and celebrities who come here but also with the bullfighters themselves. You won´t easily find it though if you don´t know that it exist as it is hidden inside the grand bullring.

For starters, I ordered their special Sopa de Mariscos which was huge and a full meal itself, if you would ask me. The thick caldo of shrimp, merluza, mussel, and what have you was a real treat after the long drive while my companion had a paté starter with pineapple.

Next I had Merluza (i don´t know what you call it in English but it´s more or less like codfish, really) shellfish, red pepper in thick buttersauce with empanada de langostino while my friend opted for traditional medium rare steak since he cannot eat seafood due to allergy.

I tell you, it´s the best thing I had in Spain aside of course from the brocheta de gambas con miel in La Bodega Guerola in Torremolinos. We dined for what seemed like a two hours and enjoyed ourselves with a bottle of red wine before finally deciding to take a quick drive around town.

The town was almost sleeping since it was already siesta time on a Sunday. Fresh wind blows from the mountains and I felt like being in a fairy tale land with the castles and century old buildings you couldn´t fail to wonder at. These times, I am glad to be in Viva España.

I was happy to get away even for a day. Life is full of bull but sometimes, it just tastes exquisite.

Picasa...the faux artist!

I was ready to rave about how good GOOGLE´s photo sharing feature, PICASA is, but here´s what happened that made the AB (Asian Bitch) really mad and instead of giving them a thumbs up, I decided to give them a FINGER instead.

Picasa is amazing when it comes to downloading your pictures from your digicam and editing them. They have loads of features that even a Luddite or an 8 year old kid can turn normal photos into ¨works of art¨ hence the name Picasa (derived from Picasso of course). It is more or less like PHOTOSHOP but less complicated. However, the catch is, since it is owned by GOOGLE just like BLOGGER, GMAIL, etc all the pics you have in your blogsite page are automatically saved on your Picasa site as well. Foolish me, wanting to save my Picasa space, I deleted all my pics there without knowing that if you delete those, they would be automatically deleted in your blogspot site too! You can imagine the shock I had when I checked my blog and found that it was all stripped off of photos! Gosh! Some of the photos that I had in my blog were already deleted from my computer since I don´t really want my computer to look like a squatter´s area for pictures I don´t use anymore.

What a mess. I have to redo this whole blogsite over again photo wise and knowing how impatient I am, I would get myself a book on meditation first so that I could get myself to actually do it without breaking things and bursting into tears.

To Google and Picasa: things are made with options, no? If people want to upload their photos in their blogs, it does not necessarily follow that they want those pictures to be put in an online album. Those pictures are made to give harmony to the article and vice versa! It´s good that you´re discovering new wonderful things everyday for people to use for free however, please at least make sure it works! %&@***

Ahhh...Technology. They drive me insane.