Overheard on the Coast 2

American man: ¨I live in a townhouse¨.

British Woman: ¨Is that a house in the town or...¨

That woman deserves some learning. Really.

Overheard on the Coast 1

American man: ¨How do they measure the temperature here? Is it Celcius or Centigrade?¨

British Woman: ¨I think it´s ¨S¨ for CENTIGRADE.¨

kaleidoscopic café

Love the color scheme of this café!!!

It is called ¨Café de l´Abuela¨ (Grandma´s Café) situated near the Picasso Museum in Málaga.

I wonder if they serve fuschia and orange coffee as well. Either way, I´ll have it. Spanish Coffee is the real thing. Starbuck´s is plain mud.

OH MY GOD!!!

Warning: The pictures posted here are not for the faint-hearted.

Neither Perez Hilton nor Bryanboy can top the scandal that dominated the Spanish news today. Jesus Christ masturbating!
But before you call your parish priest to expel me from the church or to exorcise me until I die of seizure, read the story first.

Spanish political party, Partido Popular presented their public complaint against the local Government of Extremadura (a region in Spain) and it´s ministry of Culture, Don Francisco Muñoz (who will run in the coming local elections) for publishing a photography book entitled In Breeding by artist Jam Montoya which shows offensive images giving homage to religious characters.

Photos of San Roque (with a massive erection) with his dog ( a faint reference to bestiality), Angel Gabriel ejaculating on the Virgin Mary, a transsexual Jesus Christ or Saint John of the Cross practising oral sex are some of those showed on the said book.

The Prologue of the book was signed by the government of Extremadura specifically by Don Muñoz and actually defended it as a work of art more than anything else.The publishing of the book stirs new arguments on where lies the thin line between art, pornography and blasphemy.

Now my dear readers tell me, is this art? Faith? or just a lousy attempt to seek attention?I want some answers.



Click here for complete pictures.

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Return of the (Spanish) Jedi Master

After a two month long vacation bonanza in South America (Chile, Uruguay and Argentina), my Spanish teacher/neighbour/bestfriend Antonio is back!


Due to my busy work and blogging schedule, I did not really take attention on his arrival details although I knew that he would be coming the weekend. I thought he was arriving Saturday when Friday about 10pm, my phone rang and it was him! God, I almost fell off my bed! The Gay Spanish Jedi Master is back! This means chaos!

After 10 minutes he was knocking on my door with a box of Argentinian chocolate in hands as a present . I almost did not recognize him. The extravagant bastard was sooo tanned! He must have been cruisin´ a lot in the latin playas, humping every Papi Chulos he can lay his hands on. He looked radiant and gained a little weight. After a big hug that almost broke my ribs and just so many beso-beso on the cheeks, we immediately went to buy a bottle of whiskey to celebrate his return not realizing that the nearest 24 hour store has been permanently shut (for reasons still unknown) for almost a month now. So we decided to go to the nearest bar for some takeaway alcohol in plastic cups.

We went back to his place for the quickest summary of his trip. The Jedi Master showed me his fantastic photos of white beaches, green mountains, century old architectures and told me gory details of his manly conquests. We were chatting away for an hour when he suddenly stopped me and blurted:

¨Pero Jeno! Hablas muy mal Español ahora! ¨ (But jeno, you speak bad Spanish now!)



I froze and just said the most lousy BUT credible excuses of them all.
¨Dos meses sin practicarlo Antonio, es normal que no lo hablo muy bien!¨(two months without practice Antonio, it is normal that I don´t speak it that well now)

And there it goes..I am back to being a student next week. this means getting my head back on the difficult verbs and tenses and spending two hours with him everySaturday afternoon, not as a friend but as a student to his very strict professor!



Antonio has been a Spanish teacher for a long time having worked in South America and France. He speaks fluent and I mean FLUENT (with Parisian accent and all) French but his English is below POOR. Yes, he teaches me in pure Spanish without a drop of any English translations at all. The strategy works though since YOU HAVE TO FORGET THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE to be able to comprehend best the Spanish language. He is one of, if not the best teachers in their school in Málaga and of course a really nice one although he gets mad and shouts whenever I don´t do my assignments well. Yes, he is fierce! I admit there were sessions where I just wanted to walk out and cry like a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of the lesson´s difficulties. You see, in Spanish, there are a LOT of tenses and the verbs should always be conjugated. BUT it is all worth it because the language is so clear and exact, you can almost paint a canvass with the words.

Right now, I am on the advance level and trying with pain of course, to get through the subjunctives which are the moooooooost difficult.

Let´s see what happens next Saturday when I start my classes again. I am sure it will be a riot. In the meantime, I try to finish my this book which is my first read in Spanish (full 184 pages) and has been with me for almost 7 months now .

I am sure he would ask me if I have already finished reading it and I´m sure I would come up with another lousy excuse: I DON´T LIKE THE PLOT.