I need a kick

smoking can kill

I had two packs of L&Ms again today, I hate it. I really should stop smoking but the infinite search for a true potion to heal and put a dead end to this horrible habit is still beyond my capacity and reach. As I write this entry, I am puffing away my 5th stick from my second pack and I just bought it like an hour ago. Abominable.

My sinful love for fags started in college. I was 19 at that time and just like the majority of first time smokers in the fabulous third world that I came from, I started with ¨ sigarilyo ng mga hostess¨ (whore´s cigarette) Phillip Morris menthols. After a couple of months, I switched to Lucky Strike red then Marlboro red then finally, lights. Here in Spain, Marlboro Lights is like the red ones--strong, so I stuck with L&M lights which has the nearest taste to Marlboro Lights. I like it and I feel sick with other brands now.

We all know the horrors of smoking. Everything can happen to you...from stained teeth, memory loss, cancer, weak and low sperm counts, impotence and many more. However, if there is a legal substance that I am addicted to, it would be cigs and Coke Light. I can't live without the two. I can refrain from drinking Coke Light for a week but then again, I relapse. I know a lot of people who cannot live without Coca-Cola as well. Believe me, there should be Coke anonymous. Anybody out there who would like to sign up?

In fairness to my faithful fags, they are the one thing that sticks with me through thick and thin. We've been through good and bad times and whenever I run out of those, I scan the streets even at the wee hours of mornings, shaking, to find them by hook or by crook. I would beg, steal, borrow or even give a head just to have a stick or two if I have to.

How many conversations I started that led to friendship, business deals or to bed because of cigarettes? In good times, you smoke to celebrate; in bad, you smoke to let the animal in your cage get out and be free.

When I first came to Spain, I was surprised and even shocked when I found out that in any McDonald's that you go to they serve beer and you can actually smoke inside! McDo is not a kiddieland here. It is just your ordinary restaurant and like any other restos, you can always have a good puff after a hefty meal. Spain is a smoker's paradise or at least it used to be. On January of this year, they had a ban to smoke in all public places. However, since the Spanish are predominantly smokers, especially the women, almost all restaurants are STILL smoker- friendly. Lovely. That's what I call principle.

If people don't want to inhale smoke, get out and find your own place. One must respect each other, no? If you have the right not to inhale nicotine, you have to respect the fact that there are people who loves it. To each, his own.

The non smoking ban in all public places has started for the squeaky clean United States of Bush ( In California where people don't smoke but sniff coke) and it is now spreading all over the world. From New York, Cuba (what ever happened to the cigar industry there now, I wonder), Ireland (imagine a smoke free Irish pub. Unimaginable but now, I think they're used to it), and very soon, in the whole of the UK. Good thing the Spanish are hard headed people. Spain was and still is a smoker´s paradise and I love it.

It's been almost ten years now that I'm hooked to this habit and I know I need to slow down. Impotence is the last thing that I want to suffer from in this lifetime. There are just loads of gorgeous men out there to be...f...friends with. hehehehe. Remember though: I do not advocate smoking nor I am condemning it. I am pro-choice, anti censorship. That's why we are far more superior than the animal kingdom---because we have brains and with our brain, we think, we decide, we have control of ourselves.

I'm cutting this entry short.Excuse me, I need to smoke.