Saturday, my Spanish teacher and I decided to take a break from the gay district of Torremolinos and instead attend a birthday party of a gay couple in Fuengirola. It was J. and G.´s birthday party. They have been living together for years now and was officially married a year ago or so. Although they are still very much in love with each other, they like to sleep and play with other men together, or separately. Yes, they have a healthy OPEN relationship.

Antonio finds an open relationship atrocious. He says he is, and always be monogamous and expects his partner to be such as well. For me, I am definitely in support of this more liberal accord but of course, with strong grounds and limitations. Rule 1: we have been partners (or married) for more than 3 years ( Psychologists say that love lasts for 3 years. After that, it goes to another level..companionship, friendship etc. Don't ask me for any proof coz I just read it somewhere) and Rule number 2: we do it separately and we don´t need to know. It sounds tricky, I know it is. In a relationship dictated by norms of the society, we are bound to stay faithful with one another, to be honest and to be a property (to an extent) of each one. However, with the advent of modern media and constant changing society, these traditional values are slowly changing. Not disappearing but evolving into a different stratosphere.

More and more people are experimenting different ways to fulfill their desires and needs. To some, it may sound like a complete perversion but for others, it´s an important way of liberating themselves from hidden fervor which only they would know how to satisfy. You may frown with the idea of cyber-relationship (and sex), threesomes, leather, etc. but to those who practice these, it is what their minds and bodies are longing...wanting...hence, they can do nothing but be obliged to do so.

Man's obsession to find perfection is infinite. We always try to find the absolute and defect-less of everything---things, people, relationship---and because of this obsession, most of the time, we only see flaws and defects which we hope we could get in another form, shape or size. A lot of times we say ¨oh, I wish my boyfriend/ girlfriend is like this...or like that¨ and at the end of the day, we could only dream. However, there are those who are brave enough to go out of their way to achieve such desires without hurting somebody else´s feelings. Mutual consent is the key factor. One should only do if the other has no problem with it.
It is not the first the time that I have met a gay couple in an open relationship. In the very Catholic country where I came from, it is not unusual. Here in Spain, popular culture is more liberal with these kinds of liaisons. In the comedy film, "Al Otro Lado de la Cama" (The Other Side of the Bed) and it´s sequel, Los 2 Lados de la Cama (Two Sides of the Bed), the characters discover their newfound joy of swapping partners.Ignorant of what´s going on in the first place, they took it as treason between friends. In the end, they all came in terms of the situation and eventually made an effort to be together not as a separate couple but a different kind of relationship between four people.
Flamenco/soul singer BUIKA has been vocal about her threesome relationship in the past. She used to live in together with a man and another woman. The three of them were lovers. Today, she has her own child, and a full-fledge lesbian.
The party was indeed a blast except that their giant dog was forever sniffing crotch areas of the guests. When he turned to me , he would not let me go. He was trying to mount me all night long!
Antonio had learned from one of the guests that almost all parties held in that house ended up in orgies and we were waiting for that the whole night. :). I remember the first private party I attended in Manila. I was 20 years old back then. It was a party held by my ex-boyfriend´s friend. I knew what was happening after all the alcohol, cheese, and nuts were consumed...everyone was in the living room and everybody´s gone quiet except for some moans from undecipherable pain or pleasure. I wanted eagerly to join them but unfortunately, my boyfriend locked me in the room all alone while he was doing the dishes (looking back..I think, was he really doing the dishes?).

As the night regressed, the guests left one by one and the infamous orgy was nowhere in sight. However, I caught G. stealing some carnal touches with some guests. I knew his boyfriend saw it too but he didn't mind at all. After all, the more the merrier, isn't it?
I sensed that the people in the party were all bed buddies of the birthday celebrators.
"Except me", said Antonio.
Yes, only he was the exception.