Offense is always the best defense.

Steel Butterfly. Icon.Madam Imelda Marcos
I just had a coffee date with an American and I don´t know what happened but in our conversation he had to say the word ¨posh¨ and asked me:

¨Posh, you know...DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF POSH?¨

Obviously, the bitch goddess in me went ballistic and gave him a taste of some verbal diarrhea.

¨Honey, I know what posh is. YOU ARE TALKING WITH ONE.¨

The nerve! What did he think of me, stupid? I know a thousand more complex words than POSH, scumbag. In my school days, I had to work it, cheat it, and perform fellatio to win spelling bee contests (working it always works, I tell you) and my vocabulary is half as deep as the Marianas Trench. Entiendes????

If you think just because I am Asian, I don't speak your language...think again. I might just be better than your average whitetrash, baby. Much,much better. And oh, didn´t I tell you I am a writer?

Yes, I might not be rich to live a posh life and the only luxurious things I own at the moment are some Versaces, Bassis and a Chanel press powder (which is fab, I swear) but I don´t eat garbage for breakfast not to know what posh is. For one, I am from the country of IMELDA MARCOS---now how posh-er can you get with that? She was already building a museum of Manolo Blahniks wayyyyy back before even Carrie Bradshaw discovered them. Every Filipino knows what REAL luxury means even if we don´t live it. So puhleeeezzz, don´t talk to me about posh because we learned about that since grade school!
I am hyperventilating.
I need some Prozacs.
This racist thing is real getting into my nerve.