High School Hullabaloos...






If high school was a nightmare for some, it was the start of my blossoming into a real queen. If princesses and royalties are put up into finishing schools in Switzerland to learn the art of folding napkins and learn languages, I was put up in a very strict exclusively catholic high school in the fabulous island of Mindoro to get my hands on piano then eventually take a vow of chastity like the virgin Queen Elizabeth I.

My former school has always been run by nuns. However, the news of my entrance--a truly one of kind gay twink from another town--made them decide that one can only exorcise evil for so long.I was just too much for them.So, to the tune of heartbreaking ¨Maalaala Mo Kaya¨with rondalla and all, they said goodbye for good just before the end of my first year. Too bad because I was particularly fond of a specific nun, Sister Gracia, who has taught me the divine secrets of do, re, mi, in her old pedal organ.

High School brought me memories that I have buried 6 feet under the ground and cemented so it would never hit my now-full cerebellum again. However, everytime there´s a news of a forthcoming reunion, like zombies, those memories bring back to life and haunt me till I scream like Drew Barrymore in what else..Scream. To help myself permanently let go of the past and move on to my morphing to queenhood, I will try to excavate my high school experiences and let you examine them. At least this will save me from an expensive psychological sessions to heal my frequent mental lapse.



High school notes:
I was a damn smart student to begin with in high school. However, when I discovered that my vocabulary was sufficient to lead me into the ways of the world, I just didn´t bother anymore. I could lash everyone with 3000 complex words in a sentence in one go that I just ignored other subjects aside from English (my english teachers loved me and I loved them), writing and frog dissecting class.
Didn´t you think it was sooooo brutally gay what we did to those frogs? First, we killed them by boiling them alive in a tin can (or at least that´s what I did to mine. God, I was crying when I was doing it. I mean, princesses like me should KISS a frog and turn them into gorgeous Prince Charmings...not KILL them!) then we dissected them to study the parts, dried them, then DRESSING THEM UP!!!! God, looking back, it was indeed hilarious. I swear, I got a soaring high grade on that subject since I dressed mine in full drag ( he was male frog by the way)--dress, high heels with matching little bag! From that day on, I thought I would better be off as a fashion designer and not a bloody scientist.

Math, Physics and Chemistry were my worst high school enemies. Because of those,I developed a deep, dark aversion to numbers that until now, I don´t want anything to do with any number games unless of course when it comes to counting money and men. And oh, How could I ever forget the ever so hateful CAT training? I never wanted to get my flawless skin burned under the island sun so I use sunblock with SPF 45 before the training. I was part of the medics team but I made sure I always faint (or at least act like it) so I would be brought away from the filthy fields.

Though my grades in high school were as colourful as the gay flag, I was considered a defiant. I was oftentimes accused of spreading rumours about teachers´ love affairs and leading my male classmates into sinful temptations. To clear things out, I would never do such things because: I had my own elicit love affairs at that time, I did not need to get involved into someone else's, thank you. Also, at the tender age of 10 I knew I like older man. So if there was someone I would like to have my cherry popped with at that time, It would not be with classmates but with their fathers! Got it? Having said the truth, still at that time, The Mrs. Minchins of the school thought I was a total bitch in the making, my grades in CONDUCT was consistently rotting in the cesspit.

Nevertheless, I gaily swayed through the pastel pink world of of high school. I was president of the dramatics club and it helped me perfect the craft of being a drama queen that I am now. I was a cheerleader as well. NO, I did not carry virgin cheerleaders on my shoulders just like a typical male cheerleader---I WAS ONE OF THE FEMALE CHEERLEADERS along with my equally fantabulously gay best friend Cloyd. Also, I was a Junior Prom King. Believe it or not? Believe it! It was the time when the island was suffering from mudflow terror and we had to do the prom on the schoolground sans the glittering gowns and tuxedos. We had to empathize with the sufferings brought about by a disastrous storm. In the end, we enjoyed it like lunatics.
Hey if you think my extra curriculars were just limited to faggotry , you are wrong. I was one of the high school paper editors and my articles used to make the mothers weep.

There were a lot of adventures and misdvaentures along the way but this blog would never be enough. A lot of significant and unforgettable characters too...the beauty queens..the leeches (sip-sip)... and the TEACHERS of course! Now, don´t even let me start...

And then there was the end of it all. I was at the end of the Honor list....damn! number 15! Good thing was, they read the honors from the bottom and not from the top so my name got to be called first than anyone else´s. Graduation day was scandalous...there were walk outs, gossips on the side benches from the mothers...and medal bonanzas of course (sorry, 5 ang medals ko nun)! It was really a disappointing number 15 for me since I knew I worked my cute ass to the top and I deserved more. My extra curriculars weren´t strong enough they said.

Hey, I would have loved to see the POPE during the World Youth Day in Manila. My mom could have easily paid for that trip and that could have added some brownie points for me to be included in the top ten. But no, you didn´t add me to the list of attendess because you thought I wasn´t saint-ly good enough!!!! Well eat your hearts out coz now, I´m only a 3-hour flight away from the Pope and the Vatican. Bwahahaha!

Anyway, high school was a roller coaster ride and I admit, I enjoyed it or at least I enjoyed the memories that I have of those days. I have a selected memory, sorry, so I just remember what I want to remember. Try it. It is good for your health.

To my batchmates who will be attending this years reunion, enjoy! To my male classmates who have passed the acne and anorexic / obese stage of adolescence and now full grown delicious men, send me your numbers or better yet, email me. To everyone who made my life hell in high school...karma chameleon will be on your way and your kids will get it.


Os quiero y Os echo de menos mucho, Batch 95!

(Love yah and miss ya all, batch 95!)