The Frozen Chatroom


(flickr photo by richards_abigail)

The weekend went so fast and windy, as in literally windy. In the news, the waves broke to the shore, trees fell and in other parts of the country,everything was buried under thick snow while here on the coast which is supposed to be the sunniest part of Spain,the temperature dropped to a depressing 2 degrees (don´t ask me if it´s Fahrenheit or Celsius coz i never know the answer. One thing for sure--it´s bloody cold!) I had no other options but to stay home and became an accessory to a crime called piracy by watching movies online.
I was days behind an article deadline for our magazine however, my head just shuts during weekend, and no matter how I try to squeeze my creative juices out, nothing came out of me as if I was dehydrated.Tired of human beings, I decided I was incommunicable for 2 days until something really interesting like Colin Farrell, for example calling and asking me out for a dinner. Only then, I would move my big tight,bubbly ass off my comfy chair.

Until FEDE popped up on my msn messenger.

Now who the hell is FEDE? Don´t laugh. His real name is FEDERICO (bwahahaha) a 40 something cute guy I met on one of the scarcely decent dating sites about a month ago. He is from a town called Granada (and no, Isabel Granada isn´t from there), a high peak about 2 hours from where I live. It is a very lovely town used to be a Moorish colony and home to the famous Alhambra--the moorish palace dating back to the 18th century (I think.). It is also the ski destination in the south of Spain, which means, it is terribly cold, reason for which, I don´t dare get near there.

Anyway, going back to FEDE.

This man is a journalist. After a couple of searches in GOOGLE, I found out that he writes for 3 different local papers, has his own radio show and maintains 2 different websites about film and Extra- Terrestrial stuff.Very intelligent, interesting and the only person that I know who would like to visit ICELAND in the future--- something that i have been dreaming of. Not for the snow but because of BJORK. Now what a coincidence! In short, we hit it off immediately after a couple of hours of meeting and talking online.

Two days after that significant chat and a promise of meeting in person, I saw him again connected without any signs that says ¨busy¨or any of those self made online status like ¨I´m in the bathroom, go f%&k yourself¨ or ¨a little less conversation, a little more action¨ (that´s my favourite so far. :)) In which, I thought was a go signal that I could actually talk to him.
So finally, I said HI.No answer.
I tried to be cute, I sent him a smiley.Nothing.
I waited for at least 10 minutes. As an impatient scorpion that I am, I finally decided to swallow my little left pride and finally asked him,
¨Don´t you wanna talk with me?¨ I thought I am too old and too beautiful to play this game, I needed an answer.At last, he did.
¨HI. I´m sorry, I´m watching football. My favourite team is playing and I just can´t miss it¨.

I thought it was a real turn on. How butch can that be? Where on earth can you find a gay man who is a football fan? Again, my heart melted.

¨I never liked football however, I like David Beckham for obvious reasons¨, I said.

¨There is nothing good about Beckham. He is a lousy player and a fashionista fag who shaves his whole body. Zidane and whats-his-face-i-cant-rememeber Italian player are far more better. they are real man. ¨, he said with conviction.

I used to be a debater in college and like a curse, a statement as minute and totally insignificant as this would get my blood boil for a mouth to mouth combat.

¨Well no doubt David Beckham is beautiful and i don´t see any problem if he waxes his ass everyday. On the contrary, I find it sexy. Moreover, a lot of people fail to notice that David has excellent entrepreneurial skills using both his charms and fame to get whatever he wants in this world¨, said I

Long pause. I knew he is up for the kill.

¨ I don´t admire people like the Beckhams. they are people void with true aspects of being human. All they care about is money and nothing more. People like the taxi drivers, the construction workers, the mechanics--these are real people and with them you can find the wisdom in life¨
Then I boiled up.

You can just imagine what happened in the next 30 minutes or so of our conversation. I tell you, I have been in the same rich-versus-poor argument the second time in the span of six months now . First was with my professor who called me ¨a patriot of commercialism¨ after telling him how I want to have a Louis Vuitton luggage in the future and now, with this guy I hardly knew. It gets really tiresome having to debate with someone who talks about poverty without even knowing what it is. I know what poverty is, we Filipinos know it. Everyday, we see people eating garbage for breakfast. now don´t talk to me about poverty. I've been there so long, I think I deserve a Louis fucking Vuitton!
(Thanks Ms. Mariel for these diva statements. hehehe)

Anyway, In the end, he gave me a lame excuse like he was about to have dinner or something just to get off the messenger. He didn´t actually logged off. just put the sign, busy.

I knew that was the end of it.

Today, he was connected again the whole day as I was but we never dared to exchange Hi´s. Maybe we were just waiting for the first one to click the send button however, I didn´t feel brave today. What for? Him, along with other 15 other green heads (if you are using msn you must know what i mean) whose names I don´t seem to remember were silent. All of them used to be funny...interesting...full of life when we first chatted but now, it was as if we were in a funeral room and not a chatroom. I was wondering what I said wrong for them to be silent.
Nothing, I suppose.On the contrary, I was always the one to say HI. But then again, maybe that was it.

As I blow the smoke from the last of my cigarette, I decided to shut off my messenger for good.